Thursday, November 21, 2013

bitten

Dare I say I have been bitten by the homeschooling bug?  I have been devouring Pinterest information, books, quotes about homeschooling all week!  It all makes perfect sense to me...it really does.  It just feels right, like something I'm being drawn to do. 

Let me back up and tell you why.  Jacob struggles a bit at school.  He has some special education classes, he has been returned to mainstream classes, but the SE teacher comes into class with him.  We held him back a year when we moved to Georgia two years ago and it was a good thing.  But he's in 3rd grade this year...one of the toughest years in elementary school I think, and he's not happy.  Or maybe I'm not happy.  I see him failing his tests, so they retest him with the teacher and he then passes...but I question whether he has truly learned anything.  I'm starting to understand and see how this "putting everyone in a box" and the conformity of it all is just, well...I don't know...stupid.  Maybe he's not ready to learn that yet.  Why does he have to know all his multiplication facts by next year?  When he doesn't get it and I get frustrated he gets angry and upset.  Sure, I have to learn to respond better and be more encouraging....but is all this anxiety worth it? Is the anxiety of getting homework done with 3 kids every single night worth it?  Are they going to use any of what they are learning in the real world? 

I'm scared.  Scared I won't be able to teach all of them, but it seems with a lot of the research I've been doing, my job would be more of a facilitator.  I feel like Jacob would welcome the idea, Emma and Sam I'm not so sure about. Mostly for Sam because he would no longer ride the bus and that is his favorite part of it all!  I see Sam getting into trouble for well, just being a kid and not conforming to their rules.   So he wanted to go to the library and get a book.  He should be allowed to.  There is no freedom in school.  And I worry about the social side of it, both ways really.  I worry what they are subjected to at school.  I so don't want children who are so hell bent on fitting in.  As much as I am neurotic about organization, I love the idea of independent thinking and creative expression.  Lol, those two definitely don't go hand in hand!

So I'm on the search now for a homeschooling group or co-op here in Statesboro. That would satisfy the social side for me....to be linked in with a like minded group of people.  I'm looking for a mentor, someone to talk to that can encourage this mama to do what just feels right in her heart. After all, these little ones aren't going to be little for so long and every chance I get, I want to be there and watch them blossom.

sue

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